Her Day In Court

DEFENSE ATTORNEY: What is your age?

LITTLE OLD WOMAN: I am 86 years old.

DEFENSE ATTORNEY: Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened to you on April 1st this year?

LITTLE OLD WOMAN: There I was, sitting there in my swing on my porch on a warm Spring evening, when a young man comes creeping up on the porch and sat down beside me.

DEFENSE ATTORNEY: What happened after he sat down?

LITTLE OLD WOMAN: He started to rub my thighs.

DEFENSE ATTORNEY: Did you stop him?

LITTLE OLD WOMAN: No, I didn’t stop him.

DEFENSE ATTORNEY: Why not?

LITTLE OLD WOMAN: It felt good. Nobody had done that since my Abner passed away some 30 years ago.

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LITTLE OLD WOMAN: He began to rub my breasts.

DEFENSE ATTORNEY: Did you stop him then?

LITTLE OLD WOMAN: No, I did not stop him.

DEFENSE ATTORNEY: Why not?

LITTLE OLD WOMAN: Why, Your Honor, his rubbing made me feel all alive and excited, I haven’t felt that good in years!

DEFENSE ATTORNEY: What happened next?

LITTLE OLD WOMAN: Well, I was feeling spicy that I just laid down and said to him, “Take me, young man, take me!”

DEFENSE ATTORNEY: Did he take you?

LITTLE OLD WOMAN: Hell, no. He just yelled, “April Fool!” And that’s when I shot the bastard!

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