Monthly Archives: December 2009

Search and Replace 98

The Andromeda HTML Workshop Search and Replace 98 Version 3.1.2.82 Search (WIN) A bit different from other desktop search utilities, in that it can find and replace specified text in your files. It’s extremely useful when you need to make … Continue reading

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Bad Day in the Snow

The snow was coming down steadily and had been for several hours. My partner had been plowing for a couple of hours already, and I had just changed places with him and started to clear a new lot. I always … Continue reading

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Simple Solution

A farmer walked into a drug store and said to the pharmacist, “I want me one of them thar condoms with pesticides on it. Where do I find ’em?” The pharmacist replied, “Oh sir, you must mean that you want … Continue reading

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Church

The Catholic Church’s air conditioning broke down, so they had to hire a man to crawl around in the ducts and figure out what was wrong. As the man peeked down through one of the vents in the sanctuary, he … Continue reading

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Jewish Food

A Jew was walking on Regent Street in London and stopped in to a posh gourmet food shop. An impressive salesperson in morning coat with tails approached him and politely asked, “May I help you, Sir?” “Yes,” replied the customer, … Continue reading

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The Chicken Test

Mrs. Goldberg goes to the butcher at least once a week to buy a chicken. She picks it up, pinches it, fondles it, smacks it, then puts her nose in it as if to smell it. Each time she asks … Continue reading

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Food Jokes

A man took his family to a Chinese resaurant one night. After being seated and having their drinks delivered, the waiter recited the specialites of the evening. “We have moo shoo chicken, chicken almondine, beef and 5 star vegetable and … Continue reading

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The Sandwhiches

There once was 3 men. One Scottish, one irish, and one jewish. Every day they went to work. They were builders. They were working on the top of a building. The scottish man pulls out his lunch and says “TUNA! … Continue reading

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Hunting Mess

Duck decoys, fishing rods, boots . . . outdoor gear of all kinds was piled high in the garage. One day I found my wife staring at the mess. “I hope I die first, so I don’t have to get … Continue reading

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Woooooo! Woooooo!

There were two Indians and a Cowboy walking along together in the desert when, all of a sudden, one of the Indians took off and ran up a steep hill to the mouth of a cave. He stopped and hollered … Continue reading

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