Monthly Archives: September 2012

The Boston Symphony was performing Beethoven’s Ninth. In the piece, there’s a long passage about 20 minutes during which the bass violinists have nothing to do. Rather than sit around the whole time looking stupid, some bassists decided to sneak … Continue reading →

When we put our house up for sale, I stressed emphatically that my sons make their beds each morning. I left for work before they left for school, and I wanted to be sure that the house looked presentable when … Continue reading →

Eye halve a spelling chequer It came with my pea sea Itplainly marques four my revue Miss steaks eye kin knot sea. Eye strike a key and type a word And weight four it two say Weather eye am wrong … Continue reading →

A German farmer with relatives in the US promised them some fresh pork sausages made by hand from his very own stock of pigs. But as the weeks went by, they gave him a call to complain that the package … Continue reading →

“Dear Milkman, I’ve just had a baby, please leave another one.” “Please leave an extra pint of paralysed milk.” “Please don’t leave any more milk. All they do is drink it” “Milkman please close the gate behind you because the … Continue reading →

When the new patient was settled comfortably on the couch, the psychiatrist began his therapy session. “I’m not aware of your problem,”   the doctor said. “So perhaps, you should start at the very beginning.” Although taking medication may seem like … Continue reading →

The parachute company says you’ll get a full refund. They say the house didn’t float very far at all. The “National Enquirer” just loved those pictures of you at work. Jerry Springer wants to surprise you on his show. The … Continue reading →

Project slightly behind original schedule due to unforeseen difficulties. (We got so sick of working on this that we decided to do something else.) Major Technological Breakthrough. (Back to the drawing board.) Developed after years of intensive research. (It was … Continue reading →