Reginald Knowles, Britain’s worst goalkeeper, failed to end his life today.
He threw himself in front of a bus and missed.
What do you get if you cross a kangeroo and a sheep?
A wooly jumper.
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A hen that lays tables.
The landlady asked me if I minded making my own bed.
I said I didn’t and she said great there’s a hammer and nails in the corner.