Monthly Archives: July 2013

Impressions

Posted on July 19, 2013 by Ron

A man commissioned Picasso to paint a portrait of his wife. Startled by the nonrepresentational image on the canvas, the woman’s husband complained, “It isn’t how she really looks.” When asked by the painter how she really looked, the man … Continue reading →

Posted in Humour | Tagged | Comments Off on Impressions

How the Human Race Began

Posted on July 18, 2013 by Ron

A little girl asked her mother, “How did the human race begin?” The mother answered, “God made Adam and Eve and they had children, and so all mankind was made.” Two days later the girl asked her father the same … Continue reading →

Posted in Humour | Tagged | Comments Off on How the Human Race Began

Horror Movie

Posted on July 18, 2013 by Ron

Me: So I just watched this film where a man’s wife is brutally murdered by a serial killer and his son is left physically disabled. In a twisted turn of events his son is kidnapped and he has to chase … Continue reading →

Posted in Humour | Tagged | Comments Off on Horror Movie

Little April and the Pin

Posted on July 18, 2013 by Ron

Little April was not the best student in Sunday school. Usually she slept through the class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, “Tell me, April, who created the universe?” When April didn’t stir, little Johnny, … Continue reading →

Posted in Humour | Tagged | Comments Off on Little April and the Pin

Two Words

Posted on July 18, 2013 by Ron

A man joined the priesthood. The order he joined could not speak for seven years. Then they could only say two words. The first seven years passed and they went into a small room. His two words were “too cold”. … Continue reading →

Posted in Humour | Tagged | Comments Off on Two Words

Thoughts for the Day

Posted on July 18, 2013 by Ron

Today in History (July 18th) 1811: Birthdays: English novelist William Makepeace Thackeray. 1903: Birthdays: Actor Chill Wills. 1906: Birthdays: Playwright Clifford Odets. 1909: Birthdays: Actor/singer Harriet Hilliard Nelson. 1910: Birthdays: Composer, arranger, pianist Lou Busch (aka Joe Fingers Carr). 1911: … Continue reading →

Posted in Thoughts for the Day, Vocabulary | Tagged | Comments Off on Thoughts for the Day

Girl’s Night Out

Posted on July 17, 2013 by Ron

One night my girls invited me out. I promised my husband I’d be home by midnight. Hours passed and margaritas went down way too easy. Around 3 AM (a bit loaded) I headed home. Just as I got in the … Continue reading →

Posted in Humour | Tagged | Comments Off on Girl’s Night Out

Cow Tube

Posted on July 17, 2013 by Ron

One day, a farmer was tending to his livestock when he noticed that one of his cows was completely cross-eyed. He called up a veterinarian friend of his who told him to bring in his cow. The vet took one … Continue reading →

Posted in Humour | Tagged | Comments Off on Cow Tube

Gorilla Sundae

Posted on July 17, 2013 by Ron

A gorilla walked into a drugstore and ordered a $1.50 chocolate sundae. He put a ten-dollar bill on the counter to pay for it. The clerk thought, what could a gorilla know about money? So he gave the gorilla a … Continue reading →

Posted in Humour | Tagged , | Comments Off on Gorilla Sundae

Thoughts for the Day

Posted on July 17, 2013 by Ron

Today in History (July 17th) 1674: Birthdays: English clergyman and author Isaac Watts. 1763: Birthdays: Financier John Jacob Astor. 1816: The Klondike gold rush began. 1889: Birthdays: Mystery writer Erle Stanley Gardner. 1899: Birthdays: Actor James Cagney. 1912: Birthdays: TV … Continue reading →

Posted in Quotes, Thoughts for the Day, Vocabulary | Tagged , | Comments Off on Thoughts for the Day