Readers often send me fascinating tidbits of linguistic lore that I can’t always work into a regular column. So here’s a late summer grab bag of delightful odds and ends.
(By the way, “grab bag” just misses being a palindrome by one letter. Just shift the “r” — grab bag — gab barg.)
Speaking of shifts, I’ve always enjoyed sentences that transpose syllables to create new meanings. The classic example of this genre is the drinker’s druthers: “I’d rather have a bottle in front of me, than a frontal lobotomy.”
A similarly bibulous bromide comes from Betty Lundy of West Point, Miss., who turned 90 last June: “The man who enters a bar very optimistically often comes out very misty optically.”
You might not expect to find ancient Greek in the lingo of American farmers, but Bob Comizzoli of Belle Mead, N.J., notes that the Greek word for “pig” (“suinos”) survives in the common pig call “sooee,” and that the Greek word for “cow” (“bowos”) shows up not only in the English word “bovine” but also in the farmers’ nickname for a cow, “bossy.”
Two readers send delightfully inventive terms. Like many of us, Bill Ahn gives a cashier $10 and a nickel to pay a bill of $10.05 in order to avoid receiving a jangle of coins (95 cents) in change. Bill calls that nickel “trim change.”
And John Daynor, a year-round resident of Fripp Island, S.C., calls the moronic tourists who invade his paradise every summer “tourons.”
A reader named Bill from Acton, Mass., recounts a delightful example of ambiguity in the rules for the Acton town meetings: “All must speak politely and respectfully to other voters and members of town boards. Civility is not an option.”
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“What? You’re not allowed to be civil?” Bill writes. The intended meaning, of course, is that civility is not optional. But, as Bill points out, it sounds as if civility isn’t even a choice.
Another example of bizarre ambiguity pops up in this road sign spotted by Mark Lander of Old Lyme, Conn: “Permitted loads not allowed.” Hmmm…
Mark explains, “(It) makes no sense until you realize that it means that loads requiring permits (hazmat, overweight, extra wide, etc.) are forbidden.” Got it!
Speaking of roads, Jo Ann Lawlor of San Jose, Calif., reports that she was recently stopped at a light behind a humongous double trailer semi truck. A sign on the truck’s left-hand rear door read “Passing Side.” A sign on the right-hand rear door read “Suicide.”
Rob Kyff, a teacher and writer in West Hartford, Conn., invites your language sightings. Send your reports of misuse and abuse, as well as examples of good writing, via e-mail to Wordguy@aol.com or by regular mail to Rob Kyff, Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254
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