Monthly Archives: January 2014

Painting a Porch

Posted on January 9, 2014 by Ron

Wanting to earn some money, Cletus decided to hire himself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. He went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs. “Well, … Continue reading →

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All Out of Anaesthetic

Posted on January 9, 2014 by Ron

A dentist ran out of anaesthetic just before the last extraction for the day was scheduled. He gave the nurse a very large needle, instructing her to jab it hard into the patient’s butt when the signal was given, so … Continue reading →

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0 to 200 in 6 seconds

Posted on January 9, 2014 by Ron

Bob was in trouble as he’d forgot his wedding anniversary and his wife was extremely upset. She told him “Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in six seconds!” The … Continue reading →

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Glad to be drunk

Posted on January 9, 2014 by Ron

A completely inebriated man was stumbling down the street with one foot on the curb and one foot in the gutter. A cop pulled up and said, “I’ve got to take you in, pal. You’re obviously drunk.” Our wasted friend … Continue reading →

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Thoughts for the Day

Posted on January 9, 2014 by Ron

Today in History (January 9th): 1768: The first modern circus was staged in London. 1788: Connecticut became the fifth U.S. state. 1859: Birthdays: Women’s suffrage and peace movement leader Carrie Chapman Catt. 1861: Mississippi seceded from the Union. 1878: Birthdays: … Continue reading →

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Thoughts for the Day

Posted on January 8, 2014 by Ron

Today in History (January 8th): 1786: Birthdays: Financier Nicholas Biddle. 1790: U.S. President George Washington gave the first State of the Union address. 1792: Birthdays: Educator and hymn writer Lowell Mason (Nearer My God To Thee). 1815: The forces of … Continue reading →

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Thoughts for the Day

Posted on January 7, 2014 by Ron

Today in History (January 7th): 1610: Galileo, using his primitive telescope, discovered the four major moons of Jupiter: Io, Europa, Ganymede and Callisto. 1789: The first nationwide U.S. presidential election was conducted. Electors chosen by the voters unanimously picked George … Continue reading →

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Dis-Inspirationals

Posted on January 7, 2014 by Ron

We build great products when we feel like it and don’t have any reason to call in sick. If at first you don’t succeed, try management. Teamwork means never having to take all the blame yourself. The beatings will continue … Continue reading →

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Good Advice From Kids

Posted on January 7, 2014 by Ron

“Never trust a dog to watch your food.” – Patrick, age 10 “When your dad is mad and asks you, ‘Do I look stupid?’ Don’t answer.” – Hannah, age 9 “Never tell your Mom her diet’s not working.” – Michael, … Continue reading →

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Quotes January 7th

Posted on January 7, 2014 by Ron

“The future is already here – it’s just not very sildenafil online no prescription The symptoms arise without warning, they are at times constant and otherwise don’t follow any pattern. That which is the distinction in between Sildenafil Citrate and … Continue reading →

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