Daily Archives: December 28, 2014

Headlines

Posted on December 28, 2014 by Ron

Actual Excerpts From Classified Sections Of City Newspapers Stolen Painting Found by Tree Two Soviet Ships Collide, One Dies Two Sisters Reunited after 18 Years in Checkout Counter Killer Sentenced to Die for Second Time in 10 Years Auto Repair … Continue reading →

Posted in Humour | Tagged | Comments Off on Headlines

Voraginous

Posted on December 28, 2014 by Ron

PRONUNCIATION: (veh-RAE-ji-nehs) http://wordsmith.org/words/voraginous.mp3 MEANING: (adjective) 1. Of, related to, or resembling a gorge, chasm, or abyss. 2. voracious, ravenous: capable of ingesting as much as a chasm or abyss. ETYMOLOGY: The noun which gave us today’s word, “vorago,” comes from … Continue reading →

Posted in Vocabulary | Tagged | Comments Off on Voraginous

Punch Lines

Posted on December 28, 2014 by Ron

Boss = One who’s late when you’re early and early when you’re late. Why is air a lot like sex? Because it’s no big deal unless you’re not getting any. He registers into a surfing contest only to make proper … Continue reading →

Posted in Humour | Tagged | Comments Off on Punch Lines

Resume Bloopers

Posted on December 28, 2014 by Ron

PERSONAL: I’m married with 9 children. I don’t require prescription drugs. I am extremely loyal to my present firm, so please don’t let them know of my immediate availability. Number of dependents: 40. Marital Status: Often. Children: Various. QUALIFICATIONS: I … Continue reading →

Posted in Humour | Tagged | Comments Off on Resume Bloopers

Factoids

Posted on December 28, 2014 by Ron

Which is correct: 12 Midnight A.M. or 12 Midnight P.M.? Neither! You are advised intake of Vital M-40 capsules vardenafil levitra online along with the above nutrients to get optimum results. The deficiency of this sildenafil tablets india mineral, which … Continue reading →

Posted in Humour | Tagged | Comments Off on Factoids

Fisherman’s Twins

Posted on December 28, 2014 by Ron

A fisherman’s wife gave birth to twin boys. When the babies were side by side, they always looked in opposite directions, so they were named Forward and Away. Years later the fisherman took his sons fishing, but they didn’t return. … Continue reading →

Posted in Humour | Tagged | Comments Off on Fisherman’s Twins

Construction Workers

Posted on December 28, 2014 by Ron

Two dumb guys were doing construction on a house. The guy who was nailing down siding would reach into his nail pouch, pull out a nail, and then either toss it over his shoulder or nail it into the siding. … Continue reading →

Posted in Humour | Tagged | Comments Off on Construction Workers

The Gentleman

Posted on December 28, 2014 by Ron

The tourist had lost his way on a back road and stopped at the farmhouse to ask if he could be put up for the night. “Well, we’re a mite crowded, since there’s already someone in the spare room,” replied … Continue reading →

Posted in Humour | Tagged | Comments Off on The Gentleman

By The Pool

Posted on December 28, 2014 by Ron

A man walks by an empty swimming pool and sees an injured man lying at the bottom of it. “Are you okay?” the passerby asks. “No!” the injured man shouts back. “I broke my arm after diving into the pool.” … Continue reading →

Posted in Humour | Tagged | Comments Off on By The Pool

Driver’s Test

Posted on December 28, 2014 by Ron

An York County Sheriff pulled a car over on route 17 just outside of Williamsburg, Virginia. When the Sheriff asked the driver why he was speeding, the driver answered that he was a magician and a juggler and he was … Continue reading →

Posted in Humour | Tagged | Comments Off on Driver’s Test