In a Pennsylvania cemetary: “Persons are prohibited from picking flowers from any but their own graves.”
On a Tennessee highway: “Take notice: when this sign is under water, this road is impassable.”
From the safety information card in America WestAirline seat pocket: “If you are sitting in an exit row and can not read this card, please tell a crew member.”
On a Maine shop: “Our motto is to give our customers the lowest possible prices and workmanship.”
On a delicatessen wall: “Our best is none too good.”
In the window of a Kentucky appliance store: “Don’t kill your wife. Let our washing machine do the dirty work.”
In a funeral parlor: “Ask about our layaway plan.”
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In a clothing store: “Wonderful bargains for men with 16 and 17 necks.”
In a Tacoma, Washington men’s clothing store: “15 men’s wool suits, $10. They won’t last an hour!”
On a shopping mall marquee: “Archery Tournament-Ears pierced”
Outside a country shop: “We buy junk and sell antiques.”
In the window of an Oregon store: “Why go elsewhere and be cheated when you can come here?”
In the vestry of a New England church: “Will the last person to leave please see that the perpetual light is extinguished.”