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Monthly Archives: December 2014
Punch Lines
What do snowmen eat for breakfast? Snowflakes! Americans will go anywhere but to the rear of the bus. An antique is something so old nobody knows what to do with it. So they raise the price. I just saw a … Continue reading
Yuppette Gift Giving
The budding young Yuppette had been dating a successful stockbroker for several months. Just before Christmas she asked her Mother, Then there were rumors that Pioli would have fired Haley online prescriptions for cialis if the Chiefs had lost to … Continue reading
The 12 Days Of Catmas
On the twelve days of “Cat-mas” my humans gave to me … Twelve human hugs and kisses… (Oh, quit it, you’re embarrassing me!) Eleven minutes of scratching… (Oh yeah, and it makes a nice cloud of flying fur!) Ten balls … Continue reading
How To Keep A Healthy Level of Insanity
At lunch time, sit in your parked car w/sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down. Page yourself over the intercom. Don’t disguise your voice. Insist that your e mail address is: Xena-Warrior- … Continue reading
Bizarre Laws Of Alabama
In Jasper, it is illegal for a husband to beat his wife with a stick larger in diameter than his thumb. It is illegal to wear a fake moustache that causes laughter in church. Putting salt on a railroad track … Continue reading
Three Wishes
A man was walking down a beach and saw a bottle floating in the surf. He thought to himself, “Oh, message in a bottle.” He took out the cork and out popped a genie. The genie said, “Thank you for … Continue reading
A Special Post-Holiday Lament
‘Twas the month after Christmas, and all through the house, nothing would fit me, not even a blouse; The cookies I’d nibbled, the eggnog I’d tasted, at the holiday parties had gone to my waist; When I got on the … Continue reading
Chivalry
The divorce proceedings had been long, contentious and extremely heated. Finally, the husband’s attorney rose for one last try at a no-alimony divorce. “Your Honor,” he said, “my client sincerely believes his wife is just being ridiculous. Why, most women … Continue reading
Quit Stalin!
When Stalin completed 25 years of his rule over Russia, he wanted a special postage stamp issued, with his picture on it. He so instructed the Postmaster General, stressing that it should be of international quality. When the stamps were … Continue reading
Acceptance Testing
Two young engineers applied for a single position at a computer company. They both had the same qualifications. In order to determine which individual to hire, the applicants were asked to take a test by the Department manager. Upon completion … Continue reading