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Monthly Archives: December 2014
Christmas Parrot
One day a man walked into a bar and sat down next to a guy with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender said, “Cute parrot, does he talk?” The guy with the parrot says, “It’s a Christmas Parrot. He … Continue reading
Seen In Modern Kitchens…
Clean enough to be healthy, but dirty enough to be happy So this ain’t “Home Sweet Home”. Adjust! If you don’t like my standards of cooking… Lower your standards. I clean house every other day. Today is the other day! … Continue reading
Sharp Student…
An English teacher at Penn State University spent a lot of time marking grammatical errors in her students’ written work. She wasn’t sure how much impact she was having until one overly busy day when she sat at her desk … Continue reading
A Mother’s Advice
A mother was anxiously awaiting her daughter’s plane. She had just come back from a far away land trying to find adventure. As the daughter was exiting the plane, the mother noticed a man directly behind her daughter dressed in … Continue reading
Hare-Brained Scheme
At a tobacco firm’s research station somewhere in a secluded spot out in the countryside and away from prying eyes, two rabbits were sitting in the cages discussing their future. “I don’t know about you” said Alpha, “but I can’t … Continue reading
Pretending
Things weren’t going too well for Mark business-wise and he got his wife Martha an imitation tennis bracelet, instead of the real one she wanted for Christmas. “I hope you understand sweetheart, but you can pretend it’s real.” Some lubricants … Continue reading
A Kitty’s Christmas
‘Twas the night before Christmas And all through the house Not a creature was stirring, Not even a mouse. ‘Cuzz the cat had pounced on him And tore him apart – Ate his mouse intestines And chewed up little heart. … Continue reading
Mistletoe at the Airport
It was slightly before Thanksgiving. The trip went reasonably well, and he was ready to go back. The airport on the other end had turned a tacky red and green, and loudspeakers blared annoying elevator renditions of cherished Christmas carols. … Continue reading
Picture Of Health
A woman walked up to a shriveled little man rocking in a chair on his porch. “I couldn’t help noticing how happy you look,” she said. “What’s your secret for a long happy life?” “I smoke three packs of cigarettes … Continue reading
Bosses Basic Rules
Rule 1: The Boss is always right! Rule 2: In the impossible hypothesis that a subordinate may be right, Rule 1 becomes immediately operative. Rule 3: The boss does not sleep; he rests. Rule 4: The Boss is never late; … Continue reading