Monthly Archives: January 2015

Just Plane Dumb

Posted on January 30, 2015 by Ron

The Ecuadorian captain had grown increasingly anxious over rumors of an impending air strike from neighboring Peru. “Pedro,” he ordered his aide-de-camp, “I want you to climb that mountain and report any signs of Peruvian military activity.” “Si, Capitano,” replied … Continue reading →

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Just Call Him ‘Flipper’

Posted on January 30, 2015 by Ron

Max, a terrible student, reported for his final exam which consisted of yes/no answers. He took his seat in the hall, stared at the questions and took a quarter out of his pocket. He then started tossing the coin and … Continue reading →

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Heaven Can Wait

Posted on January 30, 2015 by Ron

Einstein dies and goes to heaven. At the Pearly Gates, Saint Peter tells him, “You look like Einstein, but you have NO idea the lengths that some people will go to to sneak into Heaven. Can you prove who you … Continue reading →

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Ode To The Malty Brew

Posted on January 30, 2015 by Ron

He was a wise man who invented beer. – Plato Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. – Benjamin Franklin If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer, I bet it makes beer … Continue reading →

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Getting A Divorce

Posted on January 30, 2015 by Ron

Sam and Molly went for a divorce. The judge looked down at them. “How old are you?” he asked. “Ninety-six,” replied Sam, “and I’m in the pink, the pink!” “Ninety-two,” said Molly, “and I feel like sixty, judge!” “And you … Continue reading →

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Old Couple Arrived in Heaven

Posted on January 30, 2015 by Ron

An eighty-five-year-old couple, married for almost sixty years, died in a car crash. They had been in good health the last ten years, mainly as a result of her interest in health food and exercise. When they reached the Pearly … Continue reading →

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Death Notice

Posted on January 30, 2015 by Ron

When the husband finally died his wife put the usual death notice in the paper, but added that he died of gonorrhea. No sooner were the papers delivered when a good friend of the family phoned and complained bitterly, “You … Continue reading →

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What Time Is It

Posted on January 30, 2015 by Ron

BLONDE: “Excuse me, what time is it right now?” WOMAN: “It’s 11:25PM.” These prostatitis patients should cialis sale try to cultivate self-confidence. Correct? Why is it that the term, ‘impotency’ is levitra price http://www.opacc.cv/documentos/protocolo%20tmais.pdf taken as such a taboo. In … Continue reading →

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Portrait

Posted on January 30, 2015 by Ron

An elderly Jewish woman decided to have her portrait painted. She told the artist, “Paint me with diamond earrings, a diamond necklace, emerald bracelets, a ruby broach, and Rolex.” “But you are not wearing any of those things.” One of … Continue reading →

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10 Reasons To Go To Work Naked

Posted on January 30, 2015 by Ron

No one ever steals your chair. Gives “bad hair day” a whole new meaning. Diverts attention from the fact that you also came to work drunk. People stop stealing your pens after they’ve seen where you keep them. You want … Continue reading →

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