Mail Order Groom

Two women in the one horse town of Parched Gulch had daughters, each of marriageable age.  But there were no prospective husbands in town due to shootings, running off with outlaws and drunk riding.  And there was no chance at all of any bridegrooms turning up.

The two mothers pooled their meager resources, advertised, and sure enough, they got results: twin brothers in Cactus Corners looking for wives.  The twin bridegrooms were sent for.

Along the way the twins met up with outlaws.  One was killed, the other escaped.  Upon his arrival, the mothers were in immediate conflict as to whom the surviving twin belonged. They were going to kill each other over it.  After all, each had a daughter’s future at stake.

They took the case to Judge A.K. Hornswoggle, alcoholic, disbarred, but with Solomonic frontier wisdom.  After due deliberation, Hornswoggle ruled that the young man be chopped in half and one half awarded to each daughter.
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The first mother was outraged.  If Hornswoggle wasn’t drunk or stupid, he was a monster for suggesting such a thing.

The second mother thought it would not be a bad solution.

And pointing to the second mother, Hornswoggle said, “Your daughter gets him.  You are the real mother-in-law.”

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