Category Archives: Humour

Jokes, Punch lines, One-Liners, Answering Machines…

Punch Lines

Posted on January 31, 2015 by Ron

A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand A Clean House Is A Sign Of A Misspent Life A Husband Is Someone Who Takes Out The Trash And Gives The Impression He Just Cleaned The Whole House A Messy … Continue reading →

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Trivia

Posted on January 30, 2015 by Ron

Did you know ……… It is impossible to lick your elbow. A crocodile can’t stick it’s tongue out. A shrimp’s heart is in their head. People say “Bless you” when you sneeze because when you sneeze, your heart stops for … Continue reading →

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Just Plane Dumb

Posted on January 30, 2015 by Ron

The Ecuadorian captain had grown increasingly anxious over rumors of an impending air strike from neighboring Peru. “Pedro,” he ordered his aide-de-camp, “I want you to climb that mountain and report any signs of Peruvian military activity.” “Si, Capitano,” replied … Continue reading →

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Just Call Him ‘Flipper’

Posted on January 30, 2015 by Ron

Max, a terrible student, reported for his final exam which consisted of yes/no answers. He took his seat in the hall, stared at the questions and took a quarter out of his pocket. He then started tossing the coin and … Continue reading →

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Heaven Can Wait

Posted on January 30, 2015 by Ron

Einstein dies and goes to heaven. At the Pearly Gates, Saint Peter tells him, “You look like Einstein, but you have NO idea the lengths that some people will go to to sneak into Heaven. Can you prove who you … Continue reading →

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Ode To The Malty Brew

Posted on January 30, 2015 by Ron

He was a wise man who invented beer. – Plato Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. – Benjamin Franklin If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer, I bet it makes beer … Continue reading →

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Getting A Divorce

Posted on January 30, 2015 by Ron

Sam and Molly went for a divorce. The judge looked down at them. “How old are you?” he asked. “Ninety-six,” replied Sam, “and I’m in the pink, the pink!” “Ninety-two,” said Molly, “and I feel like sixty, judge!” “And you … Continue reading →

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Old Couple Arrived in Heaven

Posted on January 30, 2015 by Ron

An eighty-five-year-old couple, married for almost sixty years, died in a car crash. They had been in good health the last ten years, mainly as a result of her interest in health food and exercise. When they reached the Pearly … Continue reading →

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Death Notice

Posted on January 30, 2015 by Ron

When the husband finally died his wife put the usual death notice in the paper, but added that he died of gonorrhea. No sooner were the papers delivered when a good friend of the family phoned and complained bitterly, “You … Continue reading →

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What Time Is It

Posted on January 30, 2015 by Ron

BLONDE: “Excuse me, what time is it right now?” WOMAN: “It’s 11:25PM.” These prostatitis patients should cialis sale try to cultivate self-confidence. Correct? Why is it that the term, ‘impotency’ is levitra price http://www.opacc.cv/documentos/protocolo%20tmais.pdf taken as such a taboo. In … Continue reading →

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