Tag Archives: Punch Lines

1. I think part of a best friend’s job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die. 2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong. 3. I totally take back … Continue reading →

IN A LAUNDROMAT: Automatic washing machines. Please remove all your clothes when the light goes out. IN A LONDON DEPARTMENT STORE: Bargain Basement Upstairs IN AN OFFICE: Would the person who took the step ladder yesterday please bring it back … Continue reading →

Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia ( formerly California). White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia’s third language. Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops … Continue reading →

How do astronauts eat their ice creams In floats How do you make a dinosaur float? Put a scoop of ice cream in a glass of root beer and add one dinosaur! Gupta, best sex doctor for the sex treatment … Continue reading →

On a New York loft building: “Wanted: Woman to sew buttons on the fourth floor.” In a New Hampshire medical building: “Martin Diabetes Professional Ass.” In the office of a loan company: “Ask about our plans for owning your home.” … Continue reading →

If Atlas supported the world on his shoulders, who supported Atlas? His wife! What’s the moral of the story about Jonah and the whale? You can’t keep a good man down! Who designed Noah’s ark? An ark-itect! The UK, Canada, … Continue reading →

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. Spotted on the back of a t-shirt worn by LAPD Bomb Squad: “If you see me running, try to keep up.” Don’t you … Continue reading →

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“By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll become happy; if you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.” This strong flow of blood solves multiple issues such as virus attack and hardware malfunction with your … Continue reading →